Hi everyone… Today, I had to put my sweet baby March to sleep.
Yesterday at the vet, they found a “softball size” tumor on her uterus. Today, she went in for surgery, but the doctor said that her tumor cemented to her GI tract and couldn’t be removed… The doctor recommended putting her to sleep.
The doctor said we could try and keep her alive longer but with pain meds and I decided to not do that. Her cancer seemed super, super bad.
I lost my father to cancer when I was 3 years old. I remember how it basically ate him. I couldn’t watch my bunny become (more) like that.
I feel horrible, like I am playing god. I feel I mercy killed her and that I am horrible. I wonder and worry about what she thought today, being left in a new place without me for hours, only to be sedated and then put to sleep. I am so, so anxious and upset right now about the thought of her being terrified right before ðŸ˜
Simultaneously I didn’t want her to suffer… and I would feel selfish keeping her alive for as long as possible if she is truly suffering.
I am an emotional mess right now, and i am do sorry for anyone reading this who has gone, or is going, through similar. I just really need to know if I’ve done the right thing here… I hope that she doesn’t hate me.
I am so incredibly torn and I feel horrible, sad, and disappointed in myself. I keep getting told that it was the right thing to do, but I can’t help but feel like I did something horrible.
She had so much energy, and enjoyed laying in the sunlight everyday.
by ukkikun692
